Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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