I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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