I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
