can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
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