There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
