there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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