woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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