I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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