please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
