i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Randomize
