so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
