Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He felt like a one man threesome
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
