Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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