i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
