i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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