bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
