Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
