i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
