the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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