I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize