it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
