fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
