Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
