no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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