Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize