i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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