The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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