I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
