it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
