Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
