I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
