it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
