he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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