AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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