i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
