that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
