Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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