Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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