She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
