wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
ttyl tear gas
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
