i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
