hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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