The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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