i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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