Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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