thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
