I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
