This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Dicks are not precious.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
