So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
