If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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