Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
