And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
