Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
