dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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